Confidence is Scary

So I’ve been thinking, Maybe if we spent more time building each other up,
there would be less and
less people at the bottom?  When you hit your personal rock bottom it is a lonely place no matter how
many people you have in your support system. The hardest part of it all is struggling to still please
everyone, and keep a smile on your face.  When you lack the energy to make yourself feel better,
but you mustre up the energy to still be a mom, wife, and friend it is exhausting.
For so many people, this is reality.  
We are a harsh society, Period.

People can be judgemental because they lack the personal confidence to encourage themselves,
let alone others.  

One thing I’ve learned is that gaining a positive mindset has changed me.
 I had to train my mind to go
to a good place, to think good thoughts and that grew my confidence.  It is an everyday battle to stay
in this place, and with the judgement of others it makes the battle even harder.

Why are we so damn determined to beat each other down? That’s what I don’t understand.

I feel like when people get stuck somewhere in life, Metaphorically speaking, and it’s a place they
don’t like, it breaks them down internally and turns them into people they probably (hopefully) don't
want to be.  Who would ever choose to be a nasty hateful person? Is that something people wake up
in the morning and decide? I don’t think so, I believe it’s deep seeded within them based on their life.

So they had a tough life, and it’s worn them down and what, it takes more energy to be nice…

Is that it?

That’s actually scientifically proven to be wrong, or at least that’s what someone’s facebook post tells
me.  It takes more muscles to frown then it does to smile, which results in more work being put in to
being unhappy then happy.

SO, how do we help them? Kill em with kindness would be my obvious answer, but that may have a
lot to do with my inner smart ass.  Truthfully, it goes deeper than that. It’s like I said before, there is
likely less than 10% of the population (or at least that’s what I tell myself and my kids) that just want to
be miserable and spread hate through the world.

I may be completely naive but I do like to think we live in a better world then that.  I need to give my
kids at least some hope for what they are going to face in their future, and even though I know I may
not be able to change the rest of societies views, I can set them up for how to deal with it.  

I’m “momming” hard these days.

You know when they say stuff like, things happen for a reason, or, what’s meant to be will be.. I used
to think that was complete BULLSHIT.  Who doesn’t? Well oddly enough that was back when my
mindset wasn’t what it is now. I was one of “those” people who was unhappy with life. Not by choice,
or at least I don’t think it was.  

Growing up I feel as though I was an all around happy person.  I was very social and had many groups
of friends with whom I spent all my time with.  I just loved life. Or did I?

I’m forever grateful for the friends who were in my life growing up, especially grateful to those who
have stuck with me through all my rough days and for those who choose to still be here now,
I love you for that.
It must not be easy as I know I’ve went through times when I was not supportive or reliable.

Where I am now is where I want to be.  I am continuing to grow and life gets better daily.  I have let go
of any and all shame for sharing that, along with the people who have chosen to bow out, and I will
always be a huge cheerleader for anyone who is ready to get to this place themselves.  
Advocating for people’s happiness should never be something your ashamed of,
but there are always people who can’t ( or choose not to) support this.
Your prerogative

So for now I forge on…

I’m the only one who has a say in my happiness, and Dammit I am proud of that fact.